Thankfully, I no longer do 4th of July like I used to, because when you have a holiday weekend that lasts five days, you will get alcohol poisoning if you go too hard, and the 4th is especially dangerous because: day drinking. At least with New Year's Eve, it's at night. The Fourth is lying on a discarded sofa on the side of a highway at 3 PM and being like, "The hum of 75 MPH cars is so peaceful, I go to sleep now," and waking up with a flashlight you mistake for a fleshlight and now you're a registered sex offender. Hopefully, none of that happened to any of you, well, maybe the fleshlight part, and you all had a safe holiday. Any hoo! Yesterday, Andrew McCutchen went 3-for-4 and his 15th and 16th homers as he hits .288. He found the Fountain of Youth sometime in May and has been a Zombino eating brain custard ever since. I'm still half expecting -- cting? -- McCutchen will resort to blah in the 2nd half, but it looks like I wrote off McCutchen before his sell-by date. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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